Photo by Luis Dalvan from Pexels
It sounds counterintuitive. After all, we spend most of our lives trying. Trying to be a good person, a good wife, husband, friend, parent, employee. We always try so hard to be liked and recognized.
What if once and for all, we just stop trying?
The pursue of perfection can get quite nasty. How much longer can we live like this? The society set to us impossible standards to attain: To get a flashy degree, to get a great job, a great house, the perfect family, the perfect body. To be successful, to show happy faces and shinny moments on Instagram and Facebook. But behind those happy faces, we know it. We know the struggles. The pain, the feeling of loneliness.
That feeling of “Not being enough”. Everyday we are exposed to too much fluffy pie- in- the- sky promises. The social media is full with empty success stories. Everybody wants to follow. One more picture in that trendy restaurant, with a glass of wine and candle lights, and fake smiles. All for what? To show to everybody how happy you are. You try to look happy, you try so hard, because you know you are not. In the non-sense race to reach ever lasting happiness, nobody wants to be the underdog.
It´s funny how we try to pretend, to be all the things we are not. We are the only ones on this planet to pretend, to negate our purest nature, to try so hard at faking it. A tree does not need to try to be a tree, it just is. The fish doesn´t need to pretend to be a fish, it just is. Why do we have to pretend, to be someone we are not? Why to stay silent when we want to scream? Why to be hypocritical and polite, when we actually do not like the person or the situation? Why do we feel this intense desire to be something we are not?
What is wrong with accepting who we really are?
Deep inside us, we know it. We are the darkness of the loneliest nights. We are the greed, the envy, the sadness. We numb our true feelings, and in the process, we feel miserable and hopeless. But we are great actors, and we cover our pain with flashy pictures, with fake smiles, with superficial pleasures. We eat more than we should. We drink away our feelings of inferiority. We buy everything we can to cover our inner misery.We repeat our positivity mantras and post them on Facebook to make others believe how balanced and healthy our lives are.
But in reality, you know it. It hurts, more than it should. We cannot deny our darkest nature. Yes, we try hard, to be that perfect person. No, we cannot attain it, because it is an impossible dream.
But not everything is lost. To accept the darkest parts of ourselves is part of the journey on this life. Like the darkest hours of the night lead us to the first sunlight of the morning. Only when we recognize our darkest side, we can be able to realize the infinite power of our light.
So, why to hide our true nature?
I know it because I see my struggle. When looking at the mirrow, I see directly into my eyes. I see the pain. I see the tiredness. I see the hopelessness. I recognize the worst things about me. My fear of not being enough. Tears go down from my eyes. After a while, I kept looking. I recognized as well that shinny little light coming from my pupils. It looks white, pure, innocent. Something shines inside me. Suddenly I felt warm. I felt accepted. I felt at peace. It was the light. The light, as present and powerful as the dark.
I could not have recognized my light, if it wouldn´t have been for my darkest side. Like we recognize the day from the night. One cannot exist without the other. The best parts of yourself, cannot exist without the worst parts. Pure light and pure dark are the same thing, in different levels of frequency. Like diming a light from dark to pure bright. We have both capabilities.
The question is, are we brave enough to face it?
You cannot be a winner before being a loser first.
Let´s embrace our darkness. Let´s accept we all start as losers. To accept our dark part is in a way to be humble. To give away our Ego aspirations of perfection. Only then we can aspire to the light.
Yes, we are the dark, as much as we are the light. After knowing both well, on which side do you prefer to stay? Which side you strive to maintain?
To accept the dark is to accept our imperfections, our vulnerabilities and our setbacks. But it also set us free. In freedom, it´s easy to follow the light. The light of our true spirit. The one that always trusts, and never fears. The light, which is the direct connection of Love.
Stop trying and surrender. Maybe we will realize that being and accepting ourselves totally and unconditionally is not so bad after all.