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We all have been surrounded by toxic people at one point in our lives, sometimes without even noticing it. In order to live a peaceful and successful life, we should surround ourselves with the right people. In fact, this is common advice from most leaders and mentors I ‘ve ever encountered: “If you want to know who you are, look at the five closest people around you”. Are you hanging around with people who share your same thoughts, values and contribute to your life in a positive way? Or do you just accept anybody that crosses into your path?
Toxic people have bad intentions. They might come across as friendly and nice on the outside, but on the inside, they struggle to feel happy for others, and really just care about themselves. Unfortunately, those people will always get in the way when you are trying to accomplish something positive in your life.
Toxic people can cause detrimental effects in our life if we do not learn to detect them and do something about it; there is enough evidence from research around the world that confirm that toxic relationships are harmful to your health; they increase the risk of metabolism disorders, chronic stress, heart diseases, cardiovascular issues and even depression. The influence of toxic people can be very subtle, so it is imperative to learn to detect those in your life and get away from them.
So, how can you be sure that someone around you is being a toxic person? Let’s take a look at the top traits:
1. They are the victims
Everything negative that happens to you is because “you deserve it”, but if something happens to them is a tragedy. They are the “poor me”, in every situation.
2. They love gossip and scandal
Toxic people feed themselves with negative news and gossip. Those are the first to know when something bad happens to another person. They like to be surrounded by people not doing well in their lives and therefore will try to impede that you get better or are improving in your life.
3. They are always right and never ask for forgiveness
They think that they are smarter than you, and everything they do is righteous and flawless. If something goes wrong is your fault, they are just the victims. These people do not feel any regret for causing damage to others because they think “they deserved it”.
4. They attack you the moment you share the good news with them
It might be something very subtle like saying to you “Yes sounds great, but…” The moment they say a “but” it means that they are contradicting you or pointing out that you are wrong or something might not go as expected. They like to impose fear on you to make you feel doubtful about your decision, that is why they are “experts” in seeing all the risks in everything you do.
5. They drain your energy
Have you experienced an energy drop, irritability, uneasiness or even got a headache after speaking with someone?
That would be a clear signal of very negative energy attacking your immune system. Believe it or not, negative energies, once they can connect with the other person’s energy, can cause debilitation of our immune system. Negative emotions suppress the function of our prefrontal cortex and activate the amygdala, the area of the brain that deals with the “fight or flight” protective mechanism.
In short, if you notice that people close to you have three or more of the traits mentioned above, better run away. Sometimes this might be hard because oftentimes those people are our partners, our parents or even our own children. However, regardless of the personal relationship, there is no justification to tolerate toxic behaviours for the sake of their well-being, putting yours at risk.
Form a circle of people that do care about you. Who show respect and love for what you do. Humanity is a big family, whether we are connected by blood, by soul or both. Select carefully your herd and strive!